There is a reason this whole event is taking place. A big reason. A situation that is influencing hundreds in Newberg and we need to come together to fix: The case of the mysterious turkey collecting football.
We don’t know much about this unnamed turkey, except that investigators have found this particular turkey is part of a secret club. Club members within this group all have a history of secretly taking items that seem to easily disappear. For example, the sock-napping cat who has for years stolen socks out of dryers. Or the chapstick-taking frog who has developed a unique steal of taking chapstick out of cars who leave their windows cracked. And the ever elusive nail clipper-snatching armadillo, who for whatever reason has collected millions of nail clippers over the years, for reasons not yet known.
Here in Newberg, investigators have found that this unnamed turkey is planning on collecting over 100 footballs from unsuspecting homes this Thanksgiving morning. No one has yet been able to put together a proactive plan to stop this, however investigators have found this particular turkey, with no hands or fingers, is highly prone to fumbling the over 100 footballs this turkey plans on carrying. The fumbling is caused by being chased, which reminds this turkey of his past fellow turkey friends, who after being chased on the farm, never returned to the farm, but ended up on dining room tables across America.
However, this talented turkey is skilled, and just 10 people chasing him is not enough. We need a large of group as we can get. Intel knows this turkey will be passing through Newberg High School Thanksgiving Day morning at 8:30am, and we need as many people as possible to be ready to chase this turkey until the footballs are fumbled and returned to their owners (you!).